So we've just spent the last seven days either going to, being in, or leaving hurredly from, Queensland. Actually, as we spent nearly all our time in Queensland on Boundary St, Coolongatta, it would be more accurate to amend Queensland to Extreme Southern Queensland and Extreme Northern New South Wales (as Boundary St is the border). We drove up with Peter Dawson (whom I share an office with) and then back again doing just over five thousand kilometers in a week! Some amazing and not-so-amazing things we saw:
So anyway, we drove up through Broken Hill, this being the quickest way.
It's very Nullabor-like up there, but with a few more hills, and although
you may be surprised by this, we generally agree that Western NSW isn't
all that boring (at least, it was less boring than we anticipated). There
isn't really much to say about it, except that we saw kangaroos (mostly
dead unfortunately), emus, foxes, eagles, hawks and the odd feral goat.
Actually, I have conveniently forgotten to mention that the route to
Broken Hill was unusually tortuous that day. For some inexplicable
reason, the South Australian Road Authority had decided to hide all the
signs pointing to Broken Hill, so we ended up on the wrong highway and had
to detour extensively. Easy to do, especially as the sun hadn't risen
yet. We stayed the night in a little motel in Gilgandra which is
somewhere north of Dubbo (if anybody knows where that is - Dubbo has
Australia's safari zoo). Continuing our run of pre-dawn stuff-ups (and
who is really capable of rational though at such ungodly hours?), we
managed to leave both our extra-comfy car pillows behind (motel pillows
suck) leaving us facing severe lumpiness for the rest of the trip. We had
however made pretty good time - we were over half way there - so we
decided to push our luck and take a slightly more scenic route to the Gold
Coast than we'd planned. Specifically, we decided to turn east through
Tamworth, cross the Great Dividing Range, and head up the Pacific Highway.
This turned out to be a great idea - there was plenty of beautiful
rainforest to entertain one's eyes, and several waterfalls to check out
too. However, choosing a route that compromised between seeing this
beauty and actually getting us to the Gold Coast before it got too dark
ran us afoul of some unsealed road which of course was unmarked on all
three of the maps we had of the area (beware - road washed away). So, it
took us a bit longer than expected. The biggest surprise was the change
in temperature as we came down out of the mountains into the coastal plain
at Grafton. It must have been a good ten degrees warmer (I was told by a
petrol attendant that Coonabarabran had -6C last night!) and it was just
glorious. The drive up the Pacific highway was a bit clogged with
traffic, and you end up getting pretty sick of sugar cane and banana
plantations, but the scenery is pretty much river after river after river.
Much like the southern NSW coastline in that respect (which is probably
not all that surprising). Still we made it to Coolongatta in one piece
sometime just after dark. Of course, none of us knew where we were
supposed to go (we couldn't find an address on the conference website -
typical), so we had to find a phonebox and call them. But it was just
down the road, so all was well. Of course, the place we were staying was
advertised as a "first class unsophisticated international resort" which
is Gold Coast slang for a hostel/backpackers. It was shabby - very
shabby. But what can you expect from a university. Apparently last year
the students were put up in the actual conference hotel (not shabby at
all) but these damn academics learn from their mistakes too quick. We got
the dud room (of course) which only had one key and smelt all mouldy, but
we got by, mostly through the purchase of a pineapple which served as a
lovely air-freshener. Fifty cents well spent I reckon. And while I am on
the subject of food, I must rave about the Turkish Pizza joint across the
street. Absolutely fantastic, the only whinge was that the vegetarian
pizzas (which comprised half the menu) were a little oily. But with three
types of cheese on them, that's to be expected (mozzerella, fetta, and
"secret" cheese - no, I didn't ask, you wouldn't either). By the way,
this whinge is not mine, or even Penny's, but in fact comes from
Prince Whingeburger himself, Ben (who was also at the conference).
Kudos for those of you who don't know Ben - he's a physicist whose
only discernable interest is drinking vast quantities of whatever's
going. But what was even cooler, was that the guys who ran it were
Lebanese or at least of Middle-Eastern extract - so those of you who
watched and loved that pinnacle of Australian sitcoms Pizza (SBS) will
understand me when I say that the show was a completely and utterly
faithful representation of this particular establishment. But enough
about that. The conference was OK. The first few talks were really good,
but by the second day, there were more than a fair share of crap ones too.
Ben gave a very coherent and understandable talk on quantum computing. He
spent most of the morning of the first day of the conference writing it
(but unusually for Ben, he finished with over an hour to spare - this he
filled in by inserting animations into his presentation). Considering
that he had been up until 2am the night before (doing what Ben does best)
it was a marvellous accomplishment (Pippa by the way, didn't put in an
appearance that day until about 4pm - she was feeling "unwell").
Actually, you know what the best bit about the whole conference was?
Every morning, they put a big bowl of mentos mints on each table. Oh
yeah, and they provided free lunch and that sort of stuff. All you can
gobble buffets too! Mmmm... And you get two hours lunch break which
means you can stuff yourself and then wander down to the beach and walk
around for an hour or so (or go paddling) before you have to return to the
grindstone. By the way, I should mention that the conference
itself was in a nice hotel - not a crappy hostel (Ben said "it's
not too bad - I quite like it". I won't tell you how Pip described
it) - it had a pool with waterslides! And security guards hanging
around making sure that you are a genuine paying guest before
letting you enjoy any of its luxuries (sigh). Anyway, talks good(ish),
food better, etc... We had Saturday afternoon off, and a map of Australia
near the pool table ($2 a game what a ripoff) suggested that there was a
place called Mt Warning to the south-west that was worth a wander. The
climb to the summit was said (by the map) to have some of the best
sub-tropical rainforest left in the area. So we went and did that. Of
course, there were five of us by then, three of whom were fit athletic
types (ie everyone except Penny and myself). The drive there took about
about an hour, so we arrived just before three. It could have been
quicker but our car (which is gutless to start with) had severe problems
climbing hills with three beefy blokes in the back. Anyway, we get there
and we start out and its all beautiful with epiphytes and tree ferns and
all that stuff, but we come to a sign warning us that the return trip
takes between four and five hours and that we shouldn't begin after noon.
Ignoring this obvious slight on our abilities we surge on. Actually the
other three surged on (occasionally jogging their way up the mountain the
freaks) whilst Penny and I pulled ourselves along the path, step by
gasping step. About halfway up we reach another sign telling us that
people have gotten lost and died on this mountain after dark, so if it is
after 1pm, we should turn around. Another pathetic insult to our prowess
(the time now was about 3:45). So up we go, and its all beautiful
everywhere and occasionally you get a glimpse through the trees and see
this incredible view looking out towards the ocean. Closer to the top,
the vegetation changes from rainforesty things to sassafras and lichen,
then to cactusy things and blackboys. At about 4:10 we made it to the
final stage. This, unbeknownst to us, consists of hauling yourself up a
sixty degree incline of rough volcanic rocks with a few meagre footholes
half-heartedly jackhammered into the path and a thin chain to hang on to.
And this is not just a small final ascent - its 200m high! The pain, the
agony. There are some who think exercise is for fools, and some who
seem to make it a way of life, but most of us have a line somewhere as to
what constitutes healthy living and what constitutes being bloody idiotic.
That line got lost somewhere back behind the horizon that day. Oh the
pain, the agony! But after a final burst of adrenalin (or possibly the
final burst of my spleen), we climbed to the top and were rewarded with
sweeping panoramic views of pretty much everywhere from Surfers Paradise
to Byron Bay. It turns out that Mt Warning is actually the plug from an
ancient volcano, the remains of which form a ring of hills around the
plug. It is also the first part of the Australian mainland to receive the
dawn every day - something to remember for quiz nites there. Anyway, by
this stage it was getting on to 4:30 so we made a dash down the mountain,
the last third in darkness (some clever people had brought torches (ie not
me)), to the car. Elapsed time: Just under three hours. I should
mention that in coming down, we passed two more groups of people still
climbing. Absolutely foolish, tut-tut. Anyway, we made it back in time
for dinner (very important). The rest of the evening passed fairly
uneventfully, except for a walk along the beach to Pt Danger. The park
near the point was alas infested with schoolies, but the police presence
there served to entertain us for a little while. The place is called Pt
Danger because of the five metre waves which come crashing in against the
rocks there making quite a moonlit show. Personally however, I think that
it was named because some idiot managed to build a small concrete swimming
pool out on the aforementioned rocks, the use of which must surely
constitute the world's most dangerous spa. Still. The rest of the
conference was spent eating mentos and things like that. We cruised up to
Brisbane on the Sunday afternoon to visit people (about a 100km drive) and
I can tell you right now that driving in Brisbane is a complete and utter
mess. I thought Sydney and Melbourne were bad, but Brisbane seems to
entirely consist of one-way streets which channel you in loops and twirls
around the city (never giving you a chance to escape) until you are
ejected in some place on the opposite side of town to where you wanted to
be. Apart from that it's kind of nice. A great big river with huge
cliffs on either side, and lots and lots of hills. I learnt two important
things in Brisbane - first that Brisbanians (and even naturalised
Brisbanians) huddle around the heater whenever the temperature drops below
25C, and second that Daria shows on payTV. Things to remember. Anyway,
it would have been nice to have checked out the place more thoroughly, and
especially to have gone up the coast a bit, but we had already planned to
head south along the coast and check it all out more thoroughly. So we
got up early (again